when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident


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a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

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  • someone: have you seen this movie?
  • me: no but i've seen gifs
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my mind is telling me no

and my budget

my budget is also telling me no

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Why do dudes always wanna know your bra size tho, what are they gonna do, buy you bras?? Cause that would be very helpful bras cost a lot of money i would save a fortune

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I’m at that awkward age where half my friends are engaged or having babies, and the other half are too drunk to find their phones.

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